Three cans and a poney.

‘Hey there!’

‘Oh, hi!’

‘Good to see you, how have you been? I haven’t caught the sleeve of you in ages.’

‘Mmh, there’s been silt in my watercan lately, it was a bit chilly for the bees to pollinate.’

‘Oh, poor thing, I had no idea. You should have scrubbed the pan, that’s what friends are for.’

‘Yeah, I know… But hey, when the doormat is stuck sideways, it’s hard for the hinges to let go, right?’

‘What happened? Is the cover still on fire?’

‘Nah. Mostly sorted now. You remember Anna? From work?’

‘The tall one? The one who was always after the treadmill?’

‘Ahah, yes exactly. That Anna. Well. Months ago, maybe you remember, she decided she wouldn’t sort out the socks no more. At that time, I thought: “fair enough”. No woman likes a hair in her cleavage so I couldn’t blame her. Plus at the end of the day, it’s all about sharing the pipe isn’t it? But then you know how she is, she’s got a penny in her belly. So instead of filling up the bucket as everyone thought she would, she kept the fallen pips under the fridge, sat along the river and waited for the hedgehog to cross the road.’

‘No way?!’

‘Yes, but here’s the best bit: she didn’t realise her leather bag would get mouldy when she left it on the carpet.’

‘Ahah, brilliant! You should learn not to stay under the branch while you’re cutting it.’

‘Tell me about it. There she was, thinking she had an aeroplane in the garage. But when the cake rises too much, it’s just dry and empty inside. Savory or not.’

‘So… Is the horse back to the stable then?’

‘Kinda. Well, almost. There’s still a bit of mould in the corners.’

‘Don't you worry, love. The ice cubes will melt even in a late summer.’

‘I know… I just wished I had turned the mattress over in the first place. Normally, if I think there might be a cat under the stool, I scratch my ear at it. I suppose I just had too much faith in the weather forecast this time.’